Ikkaku's Hairbrush
by Eddie and Alex
Summary: If you have ever seen Veggie Tales, even if it was years ago, you may remember the skit about a certain Hairbrush. We, of Eddie and Alex, felt the need to recreate this amusing scene with our favorite bald shinigami.


Disclaimer: We, of Eddie and Alex, do not own the rights to any Bleach character, nor do we own the rights to The Hairbrush Song from Veggie Tales.

Crack!Fic: Ikkaku's Hairbrush

And now it's time for silly moments with Gotei 13

Having just finished his bath in the hot springs, Ikkaku Madarame was standing in the bathhouse when he noticed something was amiss. "Where is it?" he muttered as he rifled through his satchel. Something pricked his thumb, and he cursed, pulling the thing from the bag. It was a nametag with the word "Baldy" scribbled onto it, a gift from Yachiru. "Oh," he growled, hating the little brat for her constant attention to his baldness. Turning his own attention back to the satchel, he shouted in annoyance. "Where is my hairbrush!?"

He began throwing things from the bag in order to find the lost brush, and was surprised to hear a faint "Ooph". He turned to see Renji Abarai standing in the doorway, a loofah sponge in one hand, the imprint of said sponge clear on his face. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at seeing Ikkaku in a towel, Renji regained his composure and asked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm looking for my hairbrush," Ikkaku scowled. "I can't find it anywhere." Renji held back the comment that Ikkaku really didn't need a hairbrush, and began to creep back out the door. He knew, as Captain Kuchiki was always reminding him, he was impulsive, and sooner or later, the comment regarding Ikkaku's lack of hair would slip out.

"I think I saw a hairbrush back there," Renji pointed toward the hot springs. When Ikkaku looked in that direction, Renji slipped out of the bathhouse, thanking the shinigami gods that Ikkaku had fallen for the oldest trick in the book.

"Back there is my hairbrush?" Ikkaku asked aloud. He didn't remember taking the brush with him into the springs, but if Renji had said he'd seen it, it had to be there. Renji wouldn't lie to him… "Back there is my hairbrush!" he proclaimed joyously. As he ran toward the hot springs, he felt spiritual pressure at his back. "Huh?" He looked up to see Toshiro and Rangiku standing on the roof of the bathhouse. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at having found Ikkaku in only a towel, Toshiro regained his composure.

"You're making a terrible racket," Toshiro muttered as he hopped down from the roof. "I can here you from my room." This was quite a feat, considering the bathhouse and hot springs were nowhere near the 10th division's compound. "What are you doing?"

"I'm looking for my hairbrush. Lieutenant Abarai said it was back here somewhere," Ikkaku explained. Inwardly, he groaned. If Rangiku was here, then Yachiru would hear about and then he'd be in trouble for causing a disturbance. Meanwhile, Toshiro was wondering if the other shinigami had finally lost his mind.

"Why do you need a hairbrush? You don't have any…mmph," he was cut off when Rangiku swept down and grabbed him.

"Later, Ikkaku," she giggled as she leapt away. The enraged shouts of Toshiro met Ikkaku's ears as Toshiro struggled to break the hold Rangiku had on him. Still, the words the chibi-captain left unsaid rang in Ikkaku's ears. No hair. While he admitted it was true that he was bald, he didn't really associate that with his hairbrush. No hair for his hairbrush? What did it mean? What would become of him? What would become of his hairbrush?

Unbeknownst to Ikkaku, his wonderings were not only in his head; he was muttering them as well, quite loudly in fact. Yumichika, having heard his musings, tapped him on the shoulder and informed him that he was shouting his thoughts. Though shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Ikkaku in a towel, Yumichika regained his composure and sighed.

"Ikkaku, that old hairbrush…Well, you never use it. You don't really need it," the flamboyant shinigami shrugged. "So, well…I'm sorry…I didn't know. But I gave it to Kenpachi, cause he's got hair."

Feeling a deep sense of loss, Ikkaku stumbled back, allowing Yumichika to escape unharmed. "Not fair. Oh, my hairbrush!" Ikkaku shouted. Too overwhelmed by the sadness within him, he didn't sense the massive spiritual pressure of his captain.

Having heard Ikkaku's lament, Kenpachi Zaraki entered the area, himself in a towel because he was going to take a bath. Both Ikkaku and Kenpachi were shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of…each other. But recognizing Ikkaku's generosity, or simply hoping to get the third seat to shut up, Kenpachi muttered, "Thanks for the hairbrush." He then quickly left the area.

"Don't you dare not take care of my hairbrush!" Ikkaku shouted after him, still feeling a slight sense of attachment to the hairbrush, but knowing well enough to not attempt to take it from the captain. He had to admit though, he still felt it was unfair that Kenpachi got such nice hair, while he himself had none.

The End.

A/N: Yes, I'm quite they've all seen each other in towels, as it's a community hot spring, but due to the amusement of the song this was derived from, I had to keep the "shocked and slightly embarrassed" thing in there.


End file.
